bowl_of_glow: (lilac)
[personal profile] bowl_of_glow
A/N: written in a rush. My bro wanted the pc for himself.
Genre: canon (...or a/u?) oneshot
Warnings: None, besides the usual mistakes.
Disclaimer: Ennis and Jack were not created by me, but by Annie E. Proulx. No infringements or disrespects intended.




Don Wroe’s Cabin

Everything in the room is quiet.
Silent, except for the crackling sounds coming from the fireplace, which seem to randomly accompany Ennis’s breathing.
Thinking about it, Jack doesn’t know why they lighted the fire in the first place.
No real need to do it. Cabin’s warm enough.
Must be out of habit, Jack thinks. All those times they did it up on the mountains.
Sure they also had ways to warm each other up than didn’t require any fire.
But still.

Jack smiles.

The firelight flickering upon Ennis’s skin looks so familiar.
It’s the way it shines on Ennis curls, making them look even fairer. The way it exposes every freckle.
He has seen it so many times, and yet he would never get tired of staring at Ennis’s face, looking so peaceful in the golden-orange glow.

Unbelievable how weird it feels, to sleep beside Ennis like that.
In a bed. Not a bedrool, a real bed. A bed with white sheets and a thick mattress and- and a headbord. A headboard, for Christ’s sake.
All those years spent sharing shame and secrets together, and it still feels so weird to share the same bed.
Feels so incredibly good, too.
All those times Jack had to sleep on the hard cold ground didn’t do any good to his back; as if it wasn’t fucked up enough already.
Makes him feel grateful for that soft mattress.
Makes him wonder how many other good things he and Ennis are missing out.
Better not think about that.

And well, the cabin. It’s so much different from camping.
They can’t smell the mountains in there. They can see them from the window, but they can’t really smell the fresh air. The wet grass. The smell of the pines.
Not even hear the river.
Can’t look up at the stars while making love.

But Jack likes it anyway.
The thing is, there he can close his eyes and pretend- just for a while.
Pretend it’s just him and Ennis. Living together.
Their home... wouldn’t that be wonderful.
He closes his eyes, inhaling Ennis’s scent.
Waking up every morning beside that man. Imagine that.
Feeling his warm body curling against his while they’re sleeping. Waking him up in the middle of the night just to fuck. Whenever they feel like doing it. Imagine that.
Waiting for Ennis to open his eyes in the morning, Jack’s smile the first thing he would see.
Not every morning, sure. But quite often.
God, imagine that. How sweet that would be. Such a sweet life.

He can’t pretend so well inside of a tent.
It always feels so temporary, it always feels destined to end too soon.
A part of them always feels apprehensive, their love-making becomes more and more frantic as they feel the end of their days together getting closer.
Up on the mountains, it feels like an escape from the real world. Like a secret never to be told.
Jack doesn’t like the idea. He would like Ennis to be a part of his every-day life.

Oh, he’s not a fool. Not him. He knows it would be hard at first, but they could make it.
He thought a lot about that. He got some information.
He could divorce from Lureen anytime. Anytime.
And he would be free.
They both would.
Now, if only Ennis could understand it.

And if- if they lived together.
If they lived together, Jack would like to have a dog.
He likes dogs. He had a dog once. Loyal animals.
He notices the place has a faint dog smell. He wonders if the good ol’ Don had a dog, too.
Maybe.

If they lived together.
They could spend all the night talking. Maybe a stupid thing to wish, but...
They spent many nights awake in the tent, but never a whole night just talking.
Talking and sleeping sometimes feels like a waste of time when they can see each other just a couple of times every year. Some years, even less.

With his eyes still closed, Jack feels Ennis stir in his sleep.
He snores while he rolls on his right side, facing Jack.

If they lived together... he wonders who would cook?
One thing’s for sure.
No more beans.
No more beans every fucking day.

Ennis slowly wakes up. His eyes light up when he sees Jack, and he can’t suppress one of his so rare smiles, still half asleep.
And Jack opens his eyes.

If they lived together.
That little miracle, every morning.
Just imagine that.

Oh, cabin’s so much better than camping.

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