Next Time (Drabble/Canon)
Mar. 31st, 2009 09:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bowl_of_glowAuthor’s note: Alright, it’s not a drabble, but it’s so short... I don’t have the courage to call it one-shot.
Well, I know Barbara asked for more, but I think I left my “Muse of dialogues” in Paris. Guess she’ll stay there for a while. In the meanwhile, that’s all I could came up with...
Warnings: You know English’s not my first language, so if you see same creepy mistakes just let me know. And I guess this is sad... Just saying if you’re not in the mood for this.
This is what I've learned so far
Everything is grey
Few things are forever
and it hurts when good things fade...
I have tasted happiness
The innocence of joy
do we pay a price for every moment we enjoy?
(Grey- Sarah Bettens)
Next Time
Another year. Another week.
It had finished way too soon, like it always did, Jack thought, and while he helped Ennis putting his few things in the back of his pickup, he wondered if it would always be like that: Ennis going away from that damned mountain in a hurry and leaving him behind, taking away with him another piece of his heart along with his new hopes and dreams of a future together.
How stupid he was.
Of course that would never happen.
Those few weeks... they were moments of peace in the middle of a dull, hateful life, but they were what they were.
Just brief moments of a mere illusion.
Ennis and Jack; they were two lonely souls sharing the same heavy secrets.
There on Brockeback they could be lovers, soul mates even, but back in the real world they were just Ennis and Jack- nothing more than that.
Two man with a normal life, a list of duties and a family to take care of, crashed under the weight of too many broken dreams.
Jack didn’t know if he could take it anymore... he was becoming emptier and emptier every day.
He was afraid soon he would have nothing left to give to that man.
He let Ennis pull him into a tight hug once they were done with packing.
But it hurt.
‘Cause he knew he was holding into his arms the very reason of his existence, just before letting it slip through his fingers another time.
He’d like to know if it was the same for Ennis.
Hard to tell.
Part of him hoped so.
Part of him hoped Ennis never had to experience such a sharp pain.
If it was so easy for him leaving like that, well... better for him.
So much better.
He watched Ennis drive away, his beat-up pickup getting smaller and smaller as he reached the end of the street, and as he disappered after a bend of the road, a gentle rain started falling from the grey sky.
Jack stayed there for a while, letting the light drops of water sink into his clothes.
He felt a tear roll down his cheek, and he realized that he had joined the sky in its quiet crying.
Jack smiled- a tired smile without real hope behind, because it was hard to stop longing but he knew he had stopped believing a lot of time ago.
Hey, he thought. Maybe next time we’ll have more time.
The same old lie he had repeated to himself for the last twenty years.
A flash of lightning bursted suddenly into the clouds, blinding the sky with his white light.
Maybe next time he’ll realize he loves me too much to say goodbye.
Yeah. Next time.
Well, I know Barbara asked for more, but I think I left my “Muse of dialogues” in Paris. Guess she’ll stay there for a while. In the meanwhile, that’s all I could came up with...
Warnings: You know English’s not my first language, so if you see same creepy mistakes just let me know. And I guess this is sad... Just saying if you’re not in the mood for this.
This is what I've learned so far
Everything is grey
Few things are forever
and it hurts when good things fade...
I have tasted happiness
The innocence of joy
do we pay a price for every moment we enjoy?
(Grey- Sarah Bettens)
Next Time
Another year. Another week.
It had finished way too soon, like it always did, Jack thought, and while he helped Ennis putting his few things in the back of his pickup, he wondered if it would always be like that: Ennis going away from that damned mountain in a hurry and leaving him behind, taking away with him another piece of his heart along with his new hopes and dreams of a future together.
How stupid he was.
Of course that would never happen.
Those few weeks... they were moments of peace in the middle of a dull, hateful life, but they were what they were.
Just brief moments of a mere illusion.
Ennis and Jack; they were two lonely souls sharing the same heavy secrets.
There on Brockeback they could be lovers, soul mates even, but back in the real world they were just Ennis and Jack- nothing more than that.
Two man with a normal life, a list of duties and a family to take care of, crashed under the weight of too many broken dreams.
Jack didn’t know if he could take it anymore... he was becoming emptier and emptier every day.
He was afraid soon he would have nothing left to give to that man.
He let Ennis pull him into a tight hug once they were done with packing.
But it hurt.
‘Cause he knew he was holding into his arms the very reason of his existence, just before letting it slip through his fingers another time.
He’d like to know if it was the same for Ennis.
Hard to tell.
Part of him hoped so.
Part of him hoped Ennis never had to experience such a sharp pain.
If it was so easy for him leaving like that, well... better for him.
So much better.
He watched Ennis drive away, his beat-up pickup getting smaller and smaller as he reached the end of the street, and as he disappered after a bend of the road, a gentle rain started falling from the grey sky.
Jack stayed there for a while, letting the light drops of water sink into his clothes.
He felt a tear roll down his cheek, and he realized that he had joined the sky in its quiet crying.
Jack smiled- a tired smile without real hope behind, because it was hard to stop longing but he knew he had stopped believing a lot of time ago.
Hey, he thought. Maybe next time we’ll have more time.
The same old lie he had repeated to himself for the last twenty years.
A flash of lightning bursted suddenly into the clouds, blinding the sky with his white light.
Maybe next time he’ll realize he loves me too much to say goodbye.
Yeah. Next time.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-03-31 07:58 pm (UTC)He was afraid soon he would have nothing left to give to that man.
He let Ennis pull him into a tight hug once they were done with packing.
But it hurt.
‘Cause he knew he was holding into his arms the very reason of his existence, just before letting it slip through his fingers another time.
**
Part of him hoped Ennis never had to experience such a sharp pain.
**
He felt a tear roll down his cheek, and he realized that he had joined the sky in its quiet crying.
Jack smiled- a tired smile without real hope behind, because it was hard to stop longing but he knew he had stopped believing a lot of time ago.
Hey, he tought. Maybe next time we’ll have more time.
The same old lie he had repeated to himself for the last twenty years.
A flash of lightning bursted suddenly into the clouds, blinding the sky with his white light.
Maybe next time he’ll realize he loves me too much to say goodbye.
Yeah. Next time.
**
You just broke my heart….
Totally precious piece, full of soft nostalgia, shattered dreams, lots of hurt and devotion. Every word was heavy with melancholy and resignation...
Babe, you still write “thought” without the “h”. And I think you imply here that our boys went to Brokeback during those fishing trips....not sure about it...but if this is canon, well, our boys never returned to BBM (read the short story).....Maybe they were scared of stain the memory of something that was beautiful and perfect, the only moment in their complicate lives when they were truly happy and free....
Damn...did I say that you broke my heart? **sobs**
(((Jack)))
Love ya, Baby B.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-31 10:15 pm (UTC)Tsk tsk. Look at me. *shakes her head*
Will I ever learn? Thanks for pointing that out, sweetie... Let's see if I can remember that, now!
Didn't mean to break your heart... you know that, right??
And yeah, I know that they never returned to Brokeback in the short story... Like they wanted to keep that perfect memories in their mind...
But I wanted them to be there here... So not so canon I guess, uh? But didn't they returned to brokeback in the movie version? Or maybe i just get it wrong with the italian translation... I know they didnìt in the short story, tough.
Thanks for reading sweetie, I tresure your words. ;)
((hugs you tight))
Love,
B.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-01 01:48 pm (UTC)You changed your username Tam?
Think I'll miss the old one. ;)
Hugs you
B.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-31 08:15 pm (UTC)I believe that despite the pain of separations and subsequent life, Ennis had assumed it had to be. That's life, not more.
Jack always had to change the illusion that their dreams could become reality, it was not. The illusion was lost.
They lack communication, lack of time ... I love all the pores of your skin.
Carmen
The problem is that there was a next time for neither.
Beautiful.
Kisses and hugs
no subject
Date: 2009-03-31 10:18 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading and commenting Carmen. Means a lot.
*hugs you*
B.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-31 09:41 pm (UTC)... leaving him behind, taking away with him another piece of his heart along with his new hopes and dreams ...
sad, soooo sad!!!
Maybe next time he’ll realize he loves me too much to say goodbye.
Yeah. Next time.
Even sadder ....
Thank you for sharing, it's a lovely piece but please ask someone in Paris to forward your funny "muse of dialog" asap!!!
Hugs, B.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-31 10:21 pm (UTC)Let's hope inspiration will come back by itself... French people don't undertand me! Lol!
Thank you a lot for reading Barbara!
Love seeing your comments here!
BIG hugs back! *kisses you*
B.
=)
Date: 2009-04-01 02:42 pm (UTC)Thank you for reading and leaving such a nice comment! *hugs you*
I'm happy when I can... inspire people. Lol!
Love ya!
B.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-02 06:31 pm (UTC)**Jack didn’t know if he could take it anymore... he was becoming emptier and emptier every day**
Oh! the feeling of being empty, this is a hard suffering.
I always thought that Jack suffered more than Ennis in every separation, because Ennis did what he had decided it had to be, while Jack wanted more, didn't agree but he coudn't change Ennis' mind.
And maybe Jack wondered if Ennis suffered as much as him, like you describe here.
And that hope **maybe next time...** Jack needed some hope to keep alive, Ennis never gave a hope, Jack gave it himself.
This writing is really emotional, you express very well what a feel about this topic, I agree with your point of view. Awesome
Thank you very much, B.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-02 06:47 pm (UTC)Sadly, that's so true honey.
I'm glad this little piece touched you someway.
And thank you for reading, Marian, and leaving such a kind comment. I appreciate every word... *hugs you*
I love hearing from readers. ;)
Hope you're ok!
Love and besos! Lol!
B.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-03 09:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-04 06:13 am (UTC)Thank you for reading dear.
*hugs*
B.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-16 10:12 am (UTC)that's amazing
made me hurt all kinds inside, but it's so jack, huh ...
thanks
vanessa
no subject
Date: 2009-04-16 09:04 pm (UTC)I love your comments!!
*hugs you*
B.